I grew up being told to “go to college and everything will be fine.” So I started. I went through life doing everything I was “supposed” to do. I started and I finished everything. Sometimes I did so to a fault. I’m still working on that perfectionism. If I did what I was supposed to do, why did things go wrong? Relationships, jobs, friendships, constant changes with my bank account balance. I could not understand what went wrong and how I needed to “fix it.”
Then I remembered that starting was for a purpose. It was my job to figure out what that was. So I attended therapy. I also had some very supportive family and friends. I learned about self-care and things got better. Awww, I made it! I felt good. Things were falling into place and I had the world at my feet. Ten years later, there was a shift. I was scared. I was failing. I didn’t want to start again. I wanted to continue and finish. I wanted to live and just be. But I had to start again.
I am writing a blog. My first blog. How hard can it be? After weeks, I finally sat down to start. I’m ready. I sat for 30 minutes at the computer, flipping through my cell phone and different notes hoping to find the perfect words. Do you remember that perfectionist problem, I have? Then I remembered- just start.
Even with this blog, I have deleted and started again. Yes, my perfectionist tendencies crept up but how eloquently can I communicate my passion to walk your journey with you? You are the expert in your area of concern and together we can start and continue until you reach a place to make your own decision.
You see, therapy is just like a lot of hard decisions you have made in your life. Some decisions you were able to plan for and others you didn’t have time to think about. But you started. No matter the outcomes, you gave what you could and what you knew at the time to make the situation better. Sometimes you fell short. Did you give yourself grace because, remember, you started?
My hope is to reach the “strong person” who believes there isn’t time to “break down.” I want to talk to you and let you know there is time. You deserve it. You’ve earned it. I want to reach the ones that are scared to slow down and rest because you’re too afraid something terrible may happen. I want you to know that you can balance self-care and other essential factors in your life.
When someone comes to me for counseling, I have to remember all of the challenging things I started. Some I was so proud of that I shouted it to the world and others scared me so much that I kept it to myself, hoping no one would find out. I want you to feel seen, heard and understood because validation is one of the most important gifts we can give to one another. I want you to understand that hope is essential and we will find and develop your confidence to help you move forward. I will validate your decision to start.
We all like to know how the story ends, but our responsibility is to start. I offer services for those who want to feel heard but don’t know who to talk to and those who feel embarrassed if someone knows that their life isn’t as perfect as it seems. This is for those who feel like they should have this figured out on their own. I support those who want a safe place to cry. I have the place for you to start.
The journey that I went on prepared and equipped me to open CJ Counseling and Consulting Services. When you are ready to start, I am here to guide you through the journey.